Sometimes I like to contemplate obsoletism in America. What I mean is, something (such as a custom or a word) that is obsolete. Why do I think about this? I don’t know, ask my therapist.

So I present to you a list of 30 things I find useless for no reason at all:

1. letter openers

   1a) why do we even still get mail at all?

   1b) besides amazon of course

2. staples & staplers

3. flower vases

4. an overwhelming amount of hair products sitting on your bathroom counter

5. leather (especially in the use of cars. think about it, we don’t need it)

6. sprinklers wasting water on lawns

7. hardback books

8. Word documents (we have google docs now)

9. the fact that we import grass (what’s up with that?)

10. printers (we use too much paper. what do you need to print, anyways?)

11. blogs are pretty obsolete. lol

12. dvds

13. Starbucks. there. I said it.

14. feeling sorry for oneself

15. cigarettes

    1a) cigarette breaks especially

16. ballrooms

17. the fact that we have to “move on” from grief. literally, why?

18. plastic water bottles

19. diamonds (we literally don’t need to wear diamonds as jewelry. say what you will)

20. cubicles

21. cuticles, too

22. cassettes

23. fireworks

24. the fact that we put preservatives in our food and it’s slowly killing us

25. horoscopes

26. disease (shouldn’t we be more evolved by now? just sayin)

27. signs that say “live, laugh, love”

28. “bad luck” (i don’t believe in bad luck)

29. bras (i don’t believe in bras)

30. the cotton fluff you have to pull out of a pill bottle after opening it

anyways, that’s it.

-memento mori